My husband travels. He travels a lot. He does not stay away for long periods of time but he travels every week. Every week! He goes to some fabulous destinations and some not so fabulous ones, but each trip takes him away from home and he lives out of hotel rooms and suitcases! Now I know there are jobs which takes people away (I have a friend whose husband is a commercial pilot) but they generally have some home time between - down days, leave, flight breaks - My poor man works under 3 different divisions who all want a piece of him! Sometimes at the same time. Sometimes the divisions conflict and he is the Piggy-In-The-Middle! (imagine flying for Delta, Virgin and SAA and they all want you to fly on Tuesday - to a different destination! NO arguments!) That explains why the travel is so tough - it comes with a whole lot of conflict - not to mention the work content.
So while he travels I stay at home and be mom, dad, manager, accountant, plumber, chef, teacher, driver ... all the mom stuff and all the dad stuff too! But single moms do that all the time I may hear you reply. And yes you would be right, but if I was a single mom I would not have a house with all the maintenance, 4 animals and have to juggle two different life styles in two different time zones. I would make all the decisions and would not have to wait for the right time to find out if we can (fill in the blank) as a family next weekend, book a holiday, accept an invitation etc etc. Blackberry and e-mails work, but wow what a way to run a marriage!
And we have boys - boys need a dad and yes,I hear the laments about bad dads and absent dads and dysfunctional dads and I feel your pain, but my kids have a wonderful dad who they miss the benefits of so often! And poor old dad never gets to relax or chill as he has to cram fatherhood into 48 hours a week. "Play cricket with me Dad, read to me Dad, let's swim Dad, why you reading your paper Dad, afternoon naps are b-o-r-i-n-g Dad, lets go surfing Dad, PLEASE don't go out Dad!" Maybe the 24 hour journeys are relaxing after all!
So I just do it!
But you know what, it does add to the crazy!